


The Shadow of Sin

by a_very_smol_frog



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Police, Angst, Attempted Murder, F/F, F/M, Gangs, Kidnapping, Lawyer Roy, M/M, Maes is dead, Murder, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Slow Burn, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-27
Updated: 2020-09-28
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:40:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 18,463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26135140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_very_smol_frog/pseuds/a_very_smol_frog
Summary: Roy is an assistant district attorney in New York City and his top priority is taking down the notorious Sins gang that plagues the streets of the city he once took an oath to protect. Ten years ago he got too close to the gang and in response they murdered his best friend, but now he has been handed a golden opportunity to eliminate the gang once and for all.The Sins took everything away from him ten years ago, will history repeat itself again?
Relationships: Alphonse Elric/Winry Rockbell, Edward Elric/Roy Mustang, Riza Hawkeye/Maria Ross
Comments: 18
Kudos: 56





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello friends! This is...different. Previously, all my work has been surrounding the Haikyuu fandom but after watching FMAB I really wanted to write something for it. 
> 
> This fic is taking me waaaayyyyy out of my comfort zone. Roy thinks and speaks in a way that isn't natural for me to type so it takes me awhile to think about what I want to say and type it out eloquently. I know this is going to take me awhile to write so bare with me, but I'm really excited about the plot I've outlined! 
> 
> Anyways I hope you all enjoy!

Roy Mustang always got what he wanted. Every action was calculated, every word that left his mouth had been thought out and specifically chosen, every smile, laugh, and scowl was meant to convey a very distinct message. No t’s were left uncrossed, and every i was perfectly dotted. When he set his sights on something his victory was inevitable;the laws of physics did not apply to him. Once he started, no amount of force could stop him, Newton be damned. 

When he stepped out of the courtroom, all eyes couldn’t help but be drawn to him. He exuded power. His squared shoulders, impeccably tailored suit, and unwavering air of confidence made him powerful. He _felt_ powerful. 

Just now, he had put one of the top members of the most dangerous crime syndicate in New York City in prison for life. Solaris—better known as her alias within the gang, Lust—would be sleeping behind bars for the next 156 years.

Roy felt like he was on top of the world, like his foot was resting atop the globe and he was using it to push himself to heights he never thought possible. Ten years ago, he was at the lowest point of his life, and now he was a titan; no man could touch him. 

He stepped out in the fresh—well, as fresh as you could get in New York City—air, immediately met with a swarm of cameras and microphones. Flashing lights popped around him, reminding him of warm summer nights as a child chasing fireflies. Those memories seemed like a different life now. 

He slipped into a familiar persona. With a steady voice and warm smile he answered their questions. He oozed charm, and they ate every word from the palm of his hand, gobbling it up like they were starved. This wasn’t the first time he was overrun by reporters and it would hardly be the last, but this time they sang his name with praise, calling out to him and hoping it would be their voice he picked out above the din.

“I’m honored that I have been given the privilege to help protect the esteemed citizens of our city. My only wish is that now, people will be able to rest easy knowing that their streets are safer. That is all, thank you.” 

He gently shouldered his way through them, and they parted for him with ease; like he was a drop of oil in water. Several attempted to yell questions at him but he continued to walk, the soles of his leather dress shoes thumping rhythmically against the marble stairs. 

There was a black car waiting for him on the street. He opened the door, and slid into the dark leather seat. Once the door clicked shut and he was secured behind the tinted windows, a wall of emotions barreled into him like a freight train. 

Excitement. Joy. Fear. Rage. Relief. Guilt. He felt each one with so much force it stole his breath. His mind flitted between them, unable to focus on one for more than a few seconds at a time. Ten years. Ten years since Maes was brutally murdered by the Sins. Ten years of guilt and plotting; waiting, for this moment. It was like he had been dropped into the center of a dream, and he had to pinch himself to assure that it was reality. 

“We did it Maes. We got them.” Roy let his head fall against the cool glass of the window, watching the world rush by him in a familiar gray haze. Ten years ago a shadow was cast over his life, and he thought today would help bring back the light, but if anything it grew dimmer when there was no rough clap on his shoulder or laughter in his ear. Ten years ago he had lost. And suddenly, Roy was once again standing on the plane of mortal men. 

\---

The press had a field day with the trial. New reporters across the state were singing their names, spirits were high, life was _good_ , but all Roy could do was sit in his office and stare at a shitty polaroid of two naive idiots with the wind beneath their wings, and the childish belief that they could protect humanity. 

How can you help something that is its own cancer? 

A light rapt of knuckles on his door caused all of his forlorn reminiscing to vanish. And just like that, he sunk back into the familiar persona of Roy Mustang; ADA with eyes like coal, but a mind like fire, and tongue that reduces even the strongest defences to ash. 

“Sir, there is a Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye here to see you.” He let a fraction of the rigidness in his shoulders ease out.

“Ah, please let her in.” Riza walked into the office dressed in charcoal gray slacks, a suit jacket to match, and a pale pink button up underneath. Her badge was clipped to her belt, proudly on display, the gold glinting in the afternoon sun filtering through the windows. 

“How can I help you today Lietenant Hawkeye?” Roy didn’t allow his tone to falter as he watched her close and lock the door behind her. This was Riza, life long friend, trusted companion, and a loyal officer. She made a very short list of people he trusted with every broken, bent, and tattered bit of whatever useless heap of a soul he had left inside of him. It started and ended with her name—all other previous inhabitants being dead. 

“We have a lead on the Sins.” Roy’s spine snapped right back up to full attention. 

“Havoc just picked up a young man from the hospital. He was attacked last night while walking home. He saw Gluttony, and a man that was referred to as _Wrath_ dumping a body into the river.” Anticipation buzzed under Roy’s skin, crawling like ants in his veins; a constant itch that was just a fraction too deep to reach. 

The Sins were a crime syndicate that stretched like veins in the cardiovascular system that was New York City’s underground. Everything passed through them; their reach was infinite, and no part of the city was left untouched. Drugs. Weapons. Women. Politicians. If a purse snatcher grabbed some old woman’s Prada bag on the Upper East Side, they knew about it. 

Not only were they massive, but they were organized. After wading through a seemingly endless sea of nameless peons and shell companies, Roy had finally gotten a brief glimpse at the upper echelons of the organization. 

Sticking to their brand, each was named after one of the infamous Seven Deadly Sins. So far, they had only been able to put a face to three of the seven. Lust, whom Roy had put on trial last week, Gluttony, and Greed. 

The only reason they had gotten that far was because Greed—actually named Ling Yao—had jumped ship. Apparently, the powers that be within the organization had deemed him too reckless—a liability—and attempted to smother the fire before it ever got the opportunity to smoke. 

Ling only barely survived due to the help of some of his most loyal followers, one of whom gave up his own life to assure Ling’s safety. Vowing to avenge his friend’s sacrifice, Ling marched into the police station, and one promise of witness protection later for himself and his companion, he spilled the metaphorical beans.

He told them that the placeholder names had been passed down, and that he was the newest inheritor of the title Greed. Being that he was still a greenhorn, they didn’t trust him with all of their secrets immediately. Thus, he only had the opportunity to meet Lust and Gluttony before he was deemed unworthy of his new title. During his short stint as Greed, he had heard rumors about the other Sins: specifically, Wrath. 

Apparently, the man lived up to his legend and was ruthless—a demon disguised as a man—and once you were in his crosshairs your grave was as good as dug. Ling had told them that if they wanted to inflict a mortal wound to the Sins, the most efficient way would be to take out the current Wrath. There was just one tiny, miniscule, microscopic problem with the plan; no one who had ever laid eyes on the man lived to tell the tale, _until now_. 

Roy was already out of his seat.

“Where is he?” This was a once and a lifetime opportunity, and he was hell bent on not squandering it. They finally— _finally_ —had gotten a break, a real chance to peel back the thick layers of spurious fabrications and falsehoods. A rare opportunity to see exactly who was the shadowy figure head of the Sins. 

This could be their break; Roy’s golden ticket to force the gang to their knees.

Then maybe, just maybe, he could believe those two idiots in the polaroid weren’t so naive.

\---

“Mr. Elric?” Roy closed the door to the cluttered and very well loved lounge area at the police station. It was an amalgamation of Goodwill furniture, ancient appliances, and old pieces of ~~police propaganda~~ _education programs_ from decades prior. 

The smell of burnt coffee never faded from the air, and there was almost always an officer tucked away on the couch in the corner, desperate to try and catch a few moments of rest between the never ending stream of calls. What was the saying? There’s no rest for the wicked; well that statement was all too accurate in the underpaid, understaffed, but overworked police stations all across New York City. 

Once upon a dream, Roy used to call this station home. 

A young man with long golden hair and eyes just as brilliant looked up at the name. 

“It’s Ed. Mr. Elric was a good for nothin’ bastard.” Clearly, that statement led down a long road paved in rusty nails and unresolved grief, but Roy was here on a mission, not to play psychiatrist.

“Ah, well, Ed, my name is Roy Mustang, and I am the ADA that is assigned to this case. Lieutenant Hawkeye told me that you have had the misfortune of being in the wrong place at the wrong time and stumbled upon the Sins. I’ve come to gather your statement, if that is alright with you.” 

It was midafternoon, but it looked like Ed hadn’t gotten a wink of sleep since he encountered the gang. Thick white gauze peaked out from under his collar and ran down his right shoulder. His knuckles were scraped and bruised. The skin under his left eye was a deep angry shade of some color on the spectrum between navy and plum. According to the hospital records, there were also several cracked ribs and a very badly sprained ankle, but both of these were covered by an oversized Columbia University sweater and a pair of well loved jeans. 

Roy didn’t miss the way Ed’s fingers tightened around the thin paper cup of water in his hands when he mentioned the gang. Some emotion related to fear darted across the young man’s face, but it was only there for a moment before it was replaced with exhaustion. Ed’s lips fell into a lazy, cocky smile. Roy could call him out on his act, but who was he to do so?

They were comrades in arms in this world full of fake smiles and platitudes; just doing their best to appease the sharks swimming in the water, hoping that they didn’t smell blood. 

“Yeah, I saw the bastards. Scared the shit out of ‘em, and I gave ‘em a run for their money when they tried to shut me up.” Roy had no doubts about the truth behind that statement. They had managed to rough Ed up, but he was alive after the encounter. No one else had the ability to say that after they came face to face with Wrath.

“If it is not too much trouble, do you think you could describe the events that transpired last night for me?” Ed leaned back into the gaudy plaid couch cushions. Roy noticed the slight wince. Either the hospital reports had egregiously embellished the extent of his injuries, or this was not Ed’s first time at masking physical pain. 

_Interesting._

Roy quietly listened and took notes, as Ed recounted what he had witnessed. 

Ed was a graduate student at Columbia University, but due to the astronomical rent rates near the college he had to live outside of Manhattan, just over the Harlem River in the Bronx. He had been working late that night in the lab, and by the time he finally left the sun had long set. 

He had just barely made it over the bridge when his car puttered to a stop and refused to come back to life, no amount of begging, pleading, or swearing could get the beat up old Toyota to listen. 

The buses and trains had long stopped running, and in the Bronx taxis were few and far between. Left with no other option he decided to walk the two miles back home. At the tail end of his journey, he was walking along the East River when he heard shouting; worried that someone might need assistance, he went to investigate. 

That is when he saw a short, stout, bald man and a tall, broad-chested, dark-haired man arguing over a large, black bag. Wisely, Ed had clung to the shadows and eavesdropped on their conversation. The shorter man, Gluttony, was begging and apologizing to his companion, Wrath. Ed said it was difficult to hear their hushed whispers from a distance, but they had attended some kind of meeting and Gluttony’s mistake had caused things to go south. 

“That’s um...that’s when the tall bastard told ‘em to hurry up and uh...dump the body.” Ed’s voice had grown soft. He stared down into his water with a pensive expression, as if the liquid would somehow explain the evils he had witnessed. 

“I was an idiot and gasped when I saw a hand fall out of the bag. Then the short fucker came barrelin’ towards me and knocked me to the ground. Beat the shit out of me for a few minutes before I finally got my head out of my ass and fought back. Broke his stupid fuckin’ nose and then booked it outta there. Ran until I saw a KFC, begged them to call the cops while I hid in the bathroom, and uh you know the rest I guess.” 

Roy set his notebook down on the table and offered Ed a soft smile. It pained him that someone so young had already witnessed so many evils of the world, but then again, he and Maes were around Ed’s age when they had come face to face with the same demons. 

At least Ed was alive to tell the tale. 

“Ed, do you have any family in the area?” Gold eyes went dark, molten with a deep simmering rage. 

“No. I’m originally from Chicago and all my family is still back home.” That certainly made Roy’s job a lot easier. After Gracia, an aspiring school teacher with no relations to the investigation whatsoever, had received several nefarious letters at her apartment, Roy had learned that the Sins were not above roping innocent civilians into their twisted games. 

“Well your safety is our top priority. If you need anything, feel unsafe, or if the Sins reach out to you, please contact me directly.” With how vast the gang’s empire was, Roy was certain they had a large chunk of the police force in their pockets. Ed was a key witness that Roy had every intention of protecting at all costs. He entrusted a small group of people to assist him with this case; those whose moral compass would never waiver, but that list was short, and he had every intention of keeping it that way.

Roy pulled out a simple business card and handed it to Ed. 

“That has my personal cell phone number on it. This case has become my top priority, so please, do not hesitate to reach out to me no matter the time. I will always answer.” Ed wordlessly took the card from Roy, and while he was present physically, it was clear his mind was elsewhere. Silence stretched between them for a few moments before Ed spoke again. 

“They’re...they’re really gonna try and hurt me aren’t they?” There was a slight tremor in his voice. Roy could tell that the gravity of the situation had finally hit him. Ed never asked for this; he was just a struggling college student who had had a stroke of bad luck that put him in the wrong place at the wrong time. Until this case was closed- and maybe not even then- he wouldn’t be able to walk down the street without glancing at the shadows; waiting for real life boogy men to jump out and chase him. 

“Edward.” He looked up at Roy, eyes narrowed, shoulder’s tense.

“I’m not going to do you the injustice of lying to you. The Sins are a pernicious gang that are knee deep in blood and have ties to every part of the city, but they’re not indestructible. Our conversation here today proves this fact. I promise you that I will do everything in my power to keep you safe.” Ten years ago he had failed to keep that promise, and Roy Mustang was not a man who made the same mistakes twice. 

Ed gave him a hard look, golden eyes boring into the deepest recesses of Roy’s soul, determined to expose even the slightest traces of deceit. After a few moments, he either trusted that Roy was telling the truth or decided that even if Roy was lying he didn’t care. 

“You fuckin’ better. You need my help to lock these bastards up for good.” There was a fire in Ed’s eyes. It was clear that there was grit in Ed’s soul, and he had a willpower of steel forged from sheer determination in the flames of spite. 

That was good, he would need that if he was going to survive this case. And he would survive, because this time Roy wasn’t helpless. For ten years he had been patiently waiting for this opportunity. Now the fun was about to begin. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took me forever to write. But on the plus side my vocabulary has doubled after trying to write from Roy's POV.

It was some small hour of the morning that Roy had not been acquainted with since his days as a rookie in the police force. His room was blanketed in shadows, only slightly illuminated by the weak light of the sodium lamp from the street. Roy should still be firmly planted in a hazy dream located on some unknown white beach, with a pina colada in hand, and numerous well endowed women on his arm. 

Why the hell was he awake again? 

The answer to his conundrum was buzzing incessantly on his nightstand, like a fly on a warm summer day that just didn’t seem to get the memo no matter how many times you swatted at it. A clumsy hand reached out and smacked against the table until fingers enclosed around the demon device. 

Swiping at the little bar at the bottom of the screen and pulling it to his ear was a laborious task. 

“Mustang.” His mind had recessed to that of a toddlers, and a simple utterance of his name was all he could muster.

“Roy, my apartment. It- it- it was trashed. They destroyed everything.” Edward. His breathing was labored. Roy could hear the fear strangling every gasp. Immediately, all remnants of sleep evaporated. He ripped the comforter off his legs, rushing to the front door, not even pausing to change out of his pajamas. With his free hand he swiped his keys and wallet off of the side table. His house slippers would have to suffice against the crisp nightair. 

“Where are you right now?” It was difficult to hear anything over the roar of blood in his ears. Roy wasn’t naive; he knew that the Sins would retaliate, he just hadn’t anticipated them moving so quickly. Tonight they had been extremely lucky, and Roy hated relying on the whims of the universe; he liked to be three steps ahead of his opponent before they even knew that a game was being played.

“I booked it out of there and ran to a 7/11 down the street.” At least Edward had the foresight to abandon the apartment, but Roy knew that he was still in danger. The Sins weren’t above torching an entire building to eliminate one target inside. 

Roy felt his heart thrashing against his rib cage, battering the bones in its attempt to free itself from his chest cavity, and taste the outside air. 

The Sins never made a mistake, and if they happened to slip up, the only witnesses were cool bodies in shallow graves. But this time was different. After a decade of waiting for this opportunity it was slipping through Roy’s fingers like sand. He threw himself into his car and floored it. 

Not today. 

Not after Maes lost his life because Roy couldn’t keep his nose out of business it didn’t belong in because Roy had had the stars in his eyes, and was foolish enough to believe he could taste the sun, only to be sent crashing back down to earth when it inevitably burned him.

Another life would not be lost because of his negligence. 

“Edward, I need you to give me your exact location. I’m on my way now. Whatever happens do not engage, do you understand me?” Roy punched the address Ed rattled off into his GPS. 

He was 20 minutes away.

So much could happen in the span of 20 minutes. Roy had seen lives ruined, criminals released, and worlds destroyed in less than 20 minutes. 

He was on the cusp of the biggest battle of his life; a war that would change the streets of New York City forever. Currently, it all teetered precariously, dangling on a single thread from a rope already stretched too thin. Roy didn’t know if he’d be able to reach out and catch it before it fell. 

Edward stayed on the phone with him the entire drive. The darkened streets of the city passed by in a muted haze, seemingly barren to the untrained eye, but Roy knew that once the sun fell, a whole new type of life emerged from the shadows. 

Roy continued to follow the blue line on the screen of his GPS, hoping that there would be something waiting for him when he finally reached the dot at the end. 

20 minutes turned into 15; which ticked down to 10; until finally, Roy pulled up to the flickering yellow lights of a run down gas station. The car was barely in park before Roy hurled himself out and rushed through the automatic doors. 

It was no more or less dingy than every other gas station or convenience store in New York City. The shelves were packed with brightly colored bags of snacks filled with high fructose corn syrup and sodium. The coolers were stocked with neatly arranged rows of bottles full of carbonated sugar that Elicia always begged for, but wasn't allowed to have. 

Out from behind a wire shelf holding a variety of candy bars popped a blonde head—still completely intact and breathing. 

Roy allowed himself 5 seconds of relaxation. Edward may be alive, but danger still lurked around them, waiting for the moment Roy let down his guard to pounce.

“Edward.” Ed whipped around with surprise, but the second that gilded gaze landed on Roy’s pajama clad figure, it melted away into a more relaxed expression. 

Roy tried to ignore the way it made his chest tighten; he ignored the way Ed’s shoulders loosened completely now because Roy was there, because Roy would protect him. 

“Come on.” Roy ushered him out of the convenience store, giving a slight nod to the disinterested cashier who returned it with a deadpan expression. He had no doubt that this incident didn’t even come close to making it onto the list of Top 10 most disturbing things to happen in this store. 

He didn’t ask.

They made their way out to the parking lot. It resembled something more akin to the surface of the moon, with the amount of potholes and cracks that littered the surface. 

Roy drove a 2012 Honda Accord. It was sensible, mature, reliable, and fit all of his needs. 

Maes would have called it boring. 

Roy from a different timeline once dreamed about driving a cherry-red 1971 Mustang Mach 1. Yes, partially because of the irony, but also largely because the car was—in layman's terms—badass. 

They passed the time back to Roy’s apartment mostly in silence. Roy took the long way home, eyes frequently darting to his rearview mirror, trying to recognize if any of the nondescript cars around them had also taken the same unnecessary turns down sleepy side roads.

“What about my apartment? I-I have things... really important things... stuff, Mom…” In his peripheral, Roy saw Ed clench his fists around the edge of his shirt, clutching the worn black fabric with white knuckles. 

To have one’s inner sanctum so abruptly dismantled and destroyed without a single thought of the owner; Roy couldn’t imagine how violated Ed felt that very moment. 

“I will have officers clear the area in the morning. Once they have deemed it safe, you can collect your belongings, but I think it is best that you don’t return there permanently.” Edward’s lips parted as if he was about to argue, but only a defeated sigh passed through them. Two hands came up to rub against weary eyes. 

“I... I don’t have anywhere else to go.” His tone was strained and far too exhausted for a 25 year old. 

Roy wouldn’t wish this burden on his worst enemy, much less a bright eyed young man with a whole life laid out before him.

“You can stay with me, if you’d like. Astoria is a little farther from your school, but it's safer. I have a spare room, so you would have your own space, but I feel as if I should warn you, my cats have no concept of privacy. Scientists say that their shed fur could survive a nuclear explosion, so be prepared to never be rid of it, no matter how much time has passed.” This caused a soft smile to creep across Edward’s lips. The streets were still shrouded in darkness, but Roy could see a slight sliver of light slip through the cracks.

“Um, yeah, sure... I mean I don’t wanna put you out or anything.”

“Nonsense. Riza tells me that I am becoming a crotchety cat hermit, so having a house guest will finally put an end to all of her harassing.”

Edward laughed with his whole body. The noise came from the center of his chest, bubbling out through his upturned mouth, shaking his shoulders as it flowed through him. 

Roy couldn’t help but remember the days when his smiles were more genuine, and his own laughter spilled easily from his lips. 

Edward laughed like Maes, and the pain that dug into his chest at that realization was a familiar one, something he had learned to treasure long ago, because at least he could still _feel_ ; feel something beyond the numbness that had settled into his bones after witnessing one horror after the next. 

The walk from the parking garage up to his apartment was a brisk one, but it wasn’t until he locked the deadbolt behind them that Roy finally allowed the tension to bleed out from his body. 

He was not naive enough to believe that tonight was an isolated incident, but they could at least rest easy for the time being. 

Roy walked deeper into the apartment, flipping on lights as he went. It was a nice space; large enough to fit his needs, but not massive by any means. 

The living room was furnished with a worn, overstuffed, brown-leather couch that would slowly suck unsurprising victims into its comfort, trapping them there for eternity. The walls were lined with overflowing bookshelves; Roy had read everything at least twice. Decorations were sparse, but there were a few framed pictures sprinkled around the room. 

A large cat tower sat next to the window, and a honeyed head poked out of the cubby, giving them an indignant meow when Roy flipped on the overhead lights. He let out a weak apology, and used the dimmer to cast the room in a cozy yellow glow. 

Roy gave a tender smile as he scratched the feline under his chin, earning a chirp in thanks.

Drawn into the room by his psychic ability to tell when his brother was getting attention and he was not, another cat seemingly appeared from thin air, weaving its way through Roy’s ankles. The calico let out a pitiful mewl when Roy did not immediately bend down to pick it up.

“Oh, I apologize. How dare I give your brother a smidgen of attention without you,” he muttered with a smile. He pretended to ignore the slight crack of his knees as he bent down to scoop the cat up into his arms. 

A soft chuckle pulled Roy’s attention away from his cats and towards the other inhabitant of the room. Ed looked at him with an amused expression, an impish glimmer in his eyes.

“Edward, I would like you to meet Calcifer,” he picked up the paw of the cat in his arms and forced it to give a small wave. “And Howl.” The latter leapt down from his perch and sauntered over to investigate the newest arrival. After a few shrewd sniffs, the cat deemed Edward worthy, and stretched to place his forepaws on the blonde’s knee. 

Ed reached down and gathered Howl into his arms. Roy noticed that he seemed much calmer now, all the fear from before at least temporarily gone. 

“Hey there lil guy.” Once secured in Ed’s arms, the cat began to nuzzle his head under the man’s chin. A soft rumble came from the feline’s chest when he received scratches behind his ears. 

“You’ve done it now. Once you start, you’ll never be free again.” True to his namesake, Howl had always loved attention. Calcifer, on the other hand, took a little longer to warm up to strangers and was fickle with his attention. 

“My brother loves cats. He can’t have them in his dorm, but he volunteers at the Humane Society every weekend.” Edward’s long golden hair fell down his shoulders. In the low light it blended into the cat’s fur almost seamlessly. 

“Where does your brother go to school?” 

“Purdue. He’s goin’ to school for aerospace engineering. His girlfriend goes there too. She’s in the polytechnic school buildin’ robots and shit. They’re both sharp as a whip.” Ed’s face glowed with pride when he spoke about them. He bore no resemblance to the scared and haggard young man that sat in Roy’s passenger seat just 10 minutes ago. 

It was nice. 

“Well Edward you are no dunce. A full ride to Columbia University for biomedical engineering and you’re receiving your PhD at 25. You should be proud of yourself.” The more Roy had learned about Edward Elric, the more remarkable he realized the young man was. 

Said young man in question, scrunched his nose and nonchalantly waved his hand, as if to bat away Roy’s compliments before they could seep into his skin. 

“Nah I just got lucky. I gotta lot of great people workin’ with me. Plus, when you spend as much time in the lab as I do, you better have somethin’ to show for it.” Roy bit back any rebuttal to Ed’s dismissal of his own greatness when he watched Ed’s face stretch around a long yawn. 

Yes, sleep sounded like a marvelous idea.

“Come let me show you to the guest room. I can get you something to change into, but I’m afraid they might be a little…” Edward leveled him with a glare. If looks could kill, Roy would already be 6 feet under. 

“I’m not small, Mustang,” he spat, and Roy had to use every ounce of restraint he had honed over a decade of being a lawyer to school his face into a serious expression. 

“I would never dare to imply such abhorrent slander.” Edward let out a scoff that let Roy know he didn’t believe a single word that just left his lips.

Roy managed the treacherous task of opening the door to the guest room while also cradling a limp feline in his arms. The room was a hodgepodge of extra storage, Elicia’s room when she stayed with him, and his office space. 

He sat Calcifer down on the floor—much to the cat’s dismay—and moved over to the bed. The bedding still laid folded on top, freshly washed from when Elicia had stayed with him a few weeks ago, but he had been too lazy to put the sheets back on. 

“I apologize but these are the only linens I have for this room.” The sheets were deep magenta in color, and the comforter was covered in kittens wearing various sweets as costumes. He had, of course, allowed Elicia to pick it out herself when he had first moved in, and the—at the time—6 year old girl, claimed the room as her own. 

On top of the dresser was an amalgamation of trinkets Elicia deemed important enough to keep but not important enough to take home, and several picture frames with glossy photos of the two of them smiling behind the glass. 

Ed walked over and picked up the one that held a picture of the two of them at Adventureland. He had taken her there last summer during her spring break. After an intense amount of begging, pleading, and pouting she had finally cajoled Roy into riding their newest roller coaster, and found his frightened expression on the grainy photo priceless. Needless to say, she forced him to buy it, and loved to use it to torment him every time she visited. 

“You’ve gotta kid?” Edward asked incredulously. 

“Ah, no. That’s Elicia, my god-daughter. Her father and I were very close.” Roy felt his throat tighten slightly. You would think that a decade of telling the story would dull the pain—that he would stop feeling tears prickle the corner of his eyes every time he mentioned his best friend's untimely death. 

“We were rookies on the force together 11 years ago. He was... he was murdered by the Sins as a warning to the police when we crept too close for comfort. Gracia was 7 months pregnant when it happened. I watch Elicia sometimes, so she can have a break.” He didn’t tell Ed how Elicia had the same eyes as Maes, or how she had the same sharp wit and perceptiveness that kept Roy on his toes. 

He didn’t tell Ed how he sometimes saw his best friend so clearly in Elicia, that it made him dizzy, and that he treasured their time together so fiercely because it was the closest he would ever be to spending time with Maes again. 

Instead, he focused on cramming the pillows into their cases, and making sure they were adequately fluffed at the head of the bed. 

“That's... it's really cool that you do that. Spend time with her and stuff,” Ed gently set the picture frame back in its rightful place. “My mom died when Al and I were really young, and Winry’s Granny took us in. She was already taking care of Winry, but decided to add two more punks to the mix. That old bat is tough as nails. I don’t know what would have happened to us if she hadn’t stepped forward. Really saved our asses. Al and I owe her a lot.” 

Roy knew a thing or two about headstrong women stepping in and scooping up a sniffling snot nosed brat, giving them a roof over their head, and keeping them on the straight and narrow. It had been awhile since he called Madam. Maybe after all of this was over he would make the drive up to Yonkers to pay her and the girls a visit.

“Come I'll show you the bathroom and then get you some clothes. I should have an extra toothbrush somewhere in the cabinets.” Roy led Ed out of the bedroom and into the guest bath across the hall. 

This room also had traces of Elicia’s inter decorating skills. The mats on the floor were a pale pink, and the shower curtain was covered in rainbows, unicorns, and little suns. 

Edward picked up the soap dispenser that was made to look like an icecream cone and chuckled. Roy shrugged his shoulders. 

“Not even I am strong enough to resist Elicia’s puppy dog eyes. It is a powerful weapon she has honed and mastered over the years. I pity the person who ends up falling for her, he doesn’t stand a chance.” The smile that lit up Edward’s face should come with some kind of a warming. If Roy were a lesser man, he surely would have perished.

“That's how Winry is with my brother. She’s got Al wrapped so tight around her little finger I’m sure he’s fused with it at this point. It’s a little disgusting how fucking cute they are together.” There was a wistful almost longing in Ed’s voice, but Roy—without a doubt—was not going to touch that conversation. 

After a few moments of hunting, he fished a spare toothbrush out of the deepest recesses of the linen closet. He left Ed to wrangle the object out of its packaging, while he went to the back bedroom to get him a change of clothes. 

Roy returned with the smallest pair of sweatpants he could find, a worn NYU law school t-shirt, and a spare phone charger. Ed took the small bundle with a gracious smile. 

“Um, thanks a lot for all of this, and for lettin’ me stay here.” His gaze fell down to the neon green toothbrush in his hand. 

“It’s no trouble at all. Like I told you previously, your safety is my top concern. If you need anything, please do not hesitate to knock on my door.” Roy just wanted to retreat to his bedroom so he could put some distance between himself and the soft smile on Edward’s lips.

“Mkay. G’night Roy. See ya in the mornin.” 

“Sleep well Edward.” 

Roy laid in bed staring up at the dark ceiling, hoping that a very localized earthquake would cause the plaster to crack and crumble on top of him. 

He was a paltry excuse for a man. He was a repugnant lech. 

Edward was running in fear for his life from the most dangerous crime syndicate in New York City. He was a key witness; _Roy’s_ key witness in this case. Tonight, he had lost his home, and whatever tiny sliver of security Ed had once felt was shattered.

He was vulnerable, and here Roy was feeling weak in the knees like some school girl, because Edward _smiled_ at him. 

“Mustang you idiot.” But no amount of self-deprecation could make him forget the glimmer of Edward’s golden eyes, or assuage his curiosity about if his long blonde locks were as soft as they looked. He let out a long groan.

Calcifer raised his head and let out scornful chirp, like a mother telling their child to shush and that it's time for bed. Roy gave the cat a few scratches under his chin as an apology. 

Tonight they had escaped the deadly clutches of the Sins, but Roy couldn’t help the foreboding feeling that he had put himself into a much more perilous situation by bringing Edward into his home. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you ever just sit down to type out a quick idea for a scene and then somehow manage typing out a 4k word chapter?

Having a smaller team focus on the Sins case was the smartest decision to make for many reasons. Roy had hand picked all of the officers. He trusted them, which was not something he did with just anyone. There were no leaks, all information regarding Edward’s testimony and location remained inside the tight circle.

Having a smaller team focused on the case also came with a lot of drawbacks, one of which—probably the most prominent—was that it meant a lot more work for Roy. When he walked into his office that morning, he was greeted with several boxes full of reports on all of the Sins’ criminal activities spanning over the past decade. 

And while this case had become his top priority, it was not his only case. His assistant had packed every spare moment in his schedule with calls or meetings. Roy couldn’t help but wonder if he had forgotten her birthday recently and now she was plotting his demise, doing all of this out of sheer spite. 

The day had barely begun, and already, Roy couldn’t wait for it to end. He also realized, rather belatedly, that there was no conceivable possibility of leaving his office at a reasonable time tonight, meaning Edward would most likely arrive home before him. 

That was an odd concept that Roy was still having difficulty coming to terms with. In the beginning, he thought his biggest predicament would be trying to adjust to living with someone else, but Edward had unexpectedly fit into his life rather effortlessly. 

When Roy woke up in the mornings, the smell of coffee was already drifting through the house and pulling him into the kitchen, where he was greeted with the glorious sight of a sleep mussed golden vision leaning against the counter. 

They didn’t eat together most nights—both of their schedules were never consistent enough to get them home at a dependable hour every day—most of the time however, they drifted together in the living room, sharing the space in a comfortable silence, while they both shed the stresses of their day and just relaxed. 

Sometimes, they would have playful debates about trivial things such as the validity of milk or what the cats would be like if they magically turned human. 

They always ended the night walking slowly down the hallway together, Roy pausing in front of Ed’s door bidding him a gentle _‘Sleep well’_ before he padded down to his own room and locked himself inside, forcing himself to wallow in guilt, because his heart always stuttered at Edward’s soft ‘ _G’night’_ before he shut his own door. 

Roy looked down at his schedule and quickly did some mental math, trying to find the time to get a spare key cut, make it to the university to give Edward said key, and get back in reasonable amount of time, so his assistant didn’t look at him with the same terribly exasperated expression she always wore when he would find some reason to weasel out of paperwork. 

A knock at his door drew his eyes up from his schedule.

“Ah, Police Commissioner Bradley. What a pleasant surprise. For what do I owe the pleasure of your company?” Bradley was a well loved public servant. He spoke so earnestly, and with such conviction, that it left no room for doubt that the city was safe in his hands. 

“Good morning Mr. Mustang. I apologize for stopping by so abruptly. I heard that you have a key witness who stumbled across the Sins. I wanted to see how that case was progressing. Mr. Elric was it?” The commissioner stepped into the room, and walked over to one of the numerous boxes of files in Roy’s office, thumbing absentmindedly through its contents.

“Ah yes, Edward witnessed Gluttony and Wrath dumping a body in the East River. He’s currently at a safehouse, but I assure you, that his safety is top priority.”

“That's good to hear. There’s no one more competent or with more resolve than you Mr. Mustang. Did Mr. Elric manage to give us a decent description of Wrath?” 

“Unfortunately not sir. He gave us a vague description, which is more than we had before, but no defining characteristics.” Bradley gave a soft hum, and for a fraction of a second Roy thought he saw a small upturn of the commissioner’s lips. 

It must have been a trick of the light. 

“That's a shame to hear. Well, I will leave you be, it seems like you are quite busy. If you need any assistance on this case, please do not hesitate to call me. My assistant has been told to forward all of your calls directly to my phone.” 

“Thank you very much, sir. That is very much appreciated.”

With the heavy weight of the Police Commissioner’s expectations now resting on his shoulders, Roy wasted no time diving into the vast sea of police reports around him, and got to work.

\---

It was late afternoon by the time Roy emerged from his office gasping for air. His eyes burned from squinting at the sloppy handwriting of officers who were either too tired or paid too little to care about their penship. Clearly, some of the boxes had not been unearthed from the bowels of the records office until now, because a thick layer of dust covered most of them, irritating Roy’s mouth and nose. 

He remembered rather vaguely a conversation where Edward had told him about his PI and where her lab was in relation to the rest of campus. Admittedly, Roy had been rather distracted by the tight black tank top Edward had put on after his shower, and had spent most of the conversation mentally mapping out what sections of skin he would want to taste first if given the chance.

After getting directions from a very bubbly young woman, he had finally stumbled his way into the building that held all of the biochemical engineering labs. A quick look at the itinerary told him that Dr. Izumi Curtis’ lab was blessedly on the first floor.

Was there a specific etiquette for walking into a science laboratory? Roy had taken botany back when he was studying political science at NYU, but their labs had been conducted in the greenhouses, where nothing was sterile, and his professor had banned the use of gloves because _‘a little dirt was good for the immune system’_. 

Roy had a feeling none of the things stored in a biochemical engineering lab would be beneficial to his immune system.

Slowly, he pushed open the door, and immediately to his left, found a desk occupied by a woman with long black hair and glasses perched at the end of her nose. 

“Ya lost there buddy?” Ah, so it _was_ painfully obvious Roy was very much out of his element. 

“Um, actually I am looking for Edward Elric. Is this the lab belonging to Dr. Curtis?” The woman very obviously traced over his figure before meeting his eyes again. A slow smile crept across her lips; the same kind of smile his sisters would get when he had accidentally run to a dead end when trying to escape being their dress up doll. 

Involuntarily he shivered. 

Her smile grew even wider.

“Yeah, this is my lab, but call me Izumi. I’m not one of those pompous assholes who insists on being called Dr.” Roy understood why Ed revered this woman so much now—they were clearly cut from the same cloth. 

“Why are you looking for Ed? Did that idiot get into some kind of trouble again? I told him after that incident with the laser cutter that I was going to start forcing him to take one day off a week if he couldn’t behave.” Before, Roy wouldn’t have understood how being forced to take a day off could be perceived as punishment, but after meeting Edward Elric, he now knew that no penalty could seem more daunting than forced free time. 

“Ah, no, nothing like that. I am Edward’s...” Roy didn’t know how much Ed had told Izumi about the case, and he really shouldn’t discuss it, at all, with a civilian. The Sins had eyes and ears everywhere, and while Izumi seemed like an honest person, you could never be too careful. 

“Roommate. I’m Edward’s roommate.” She raised an eyebrow, but had mercy on Roy and pretended like she believed his lie. Izumi tilted her chin to the right hand side of the room.

“His bench is back there. Good luck getting his attention though, he’s been running models on his computer for the past four hours. I don’t think he’s moved since then.” Just in the short period of time they had been living together, Roy had witnessed Edward’s intense concentration, and ability to get lost in his work several times. He didn’t doubt her for a moment. 

Ed had probably been stuck in the same position, too absorbed to focus on anything but his work and basic bodily functions. Even then it was sometimes a hit or miss if he remembered those.

“Thank you very much.” Roy quickly turned on his heel, and made his way to the back corner of the room, desperate to shield himself from Izumi’s intense stare by hiding behind the various cabinets and bookshelves. Roy had stared down murderers, pedophiles, and rapists without so much as batting an eye, but Izumi Curtis made him want to cower. 

Roy’s mouth went dry when his gaze settled on Edward’s hunched over form, staring intently at the laptop in front of him. 

Why didn’t more people talk about lab coats? Was it some hidden secret in the sciences—something you were only privy to after you had slaved away at a microscope till your vision went blurry and your back had a permanent ache—then as some consolation prize, they gave you an innocent piece of clothing that had Roy’s mind wandering down more lascivious alleys. 

Was it too late to change professions? Not to be vain, but Roy knew he looked tantalizing in all of his perfectly tailored suits, but somehow Edward Elric had completely obliterated the definition of the word _delectable_ with just a simple cotton coat, and a messy blonde bun. 

He filed this new revelation away in the darkest recesses of his mind—the newest folder in this cabinet was labeled Elric, and was getting startlingly large—Roy suspected he might have to devote a whole storage unit to all of the things about Edward Elric that lit his veins on fire, and caused something to smolder in the pit of his stomach. 

The sharp bite of metal in his now—clammy—palm reminded Roy why he was currently here. 

He walked over to the bench and cleared his throat. 

Not even the slightest bit of acknowledgement.

“Edward.” Golden eyes stayed glued to the screen. 

“Ed.” Roy checked and saw no headphones in his ears. 

Finally, Roy reached out and touched Edward’s shoulder, which earned him a startled expression, but Ed was, at last, looking up at him. 

“Roy? Whaddya doin here?” Roy took the key that was now surely slightly damp, and set it next to Edward’s laptop.

“I have a staggering amount of work to do in the office today, and won’t be home till rather late. I had been meaning to give you a spare for some time now, but hadn’t gotten around to it.” Ed picked up the key and looked at it with a pensive expression.

“So, you have a shit ton of work to do today, but you still found the time to drive all the way over here and give me a key? I could’ve stopped by the office or somethin.”

“No, it's alright. I’m on my lunch break, so it is no trouble.” Edward’s eyes widened in surprise. 

“Oh, dang it's lunch time already?” It was well past what most people identified as lunchtime, but Roy said nothing. 

He eyed the table-top wearily. Amongst the scattered papers, lab equipment, and other odds and ends, there was one crumpled bag of Funyuns and four coffee mugs; nothing that could sustain a living, breathing human being for any extended period of time. 

“Have you eaten anything today?” Ed looked up from his laptop, scrunching his nose in thought, and _oh god,_ Roy couldn’t even hope to calculate the sheer mass of how fucked he was. 

“I’ve had some coffee.” Ed gestured at the mugs on the table.

They should give Roy an Oscar for the amount of melodrama he saturated his sigh with. 

“Now, it has been awhile since I have attended a science class, so please pardon my ignorance, but if I remember correctly, coffee is classified as a _liquid_ which, in English, when we refer to ingesting a liquid it is called _drinking_. Therefore, consuming coffee does not count as eating.”

“I dunno isn’t there that Soylent stuff? You drink that, but it counts as all your meals for the day.”

Edward also deserved an award of some kind for being able to conjure up some contradiction to everything Roy said. 

“Not taking into account fleeting non-FDA approved dietary fads, typically one needs to consume food to sustain all normal bodily functions. You’re not an autotroph.” Ed raised a perfectly arched eyebrow at Roy’s 25 cent vocabulary word, and he couldn’t help but smirk. 

He remembered a thing or two from when he took botany back in the Dark Ages. 

“Can we get pancakes?” Now it was Roy’s turn to raise an eyebrow. He glanced down at the watch on his wrist. 

“It’s 2:30pm.” Roy found himself wondering if Ed could give himself whiplash with the sheer force of his eye roll. 

“Please, don’t tell me you’re one of those food snobs who believes that certain foods can only be eaten at their designated hour. A pancake doesn’t give a fuck when I eat it, and its just as good at 2:30pm as it is at the ass crack of dawn.” Roy raised his hands in surrender. 

“I apologize, I did not realize how passionate you were about the correct hour to consume breakfast foods. This is New York City, I’m sure we will be able to find some establishment that serves pancakes with relative ease.”

Ed flashed him a preposterously dazzling smile, that made his traitorous heart decide to take up gymnastics in his chest. 

“Sweet action. Give me a sec to save this data set and then I’ll be ready to go.” Ed turned back to his computer screen, and Roy took the opportunity to flee the scene so he could have a moment to properly scold the organ in charge of his circulatory system. 

As he was exiting the lab he caught Izumi’s eye. She glanced up from her book and gave him a smile that was all mischief. Delight twinkled in her eyes. Roy knew that both were done at his expense. 

“Roommates my ass.” She snickered just loud enough for him to hear as he pushed through the door and back out into the empty hallway. 

After a quick search on his phone, Roy did find a restaurant within walking distance of campus that served all day breakfast.

Not wanting to make Edward anymore smug, he ordered a soup and salad, so that he wouldn’t have to remark on the quality of breakfast foods sacrilegiously served in the late afternoon.

Lunch—or was it more apt to call it brunch because of Ed’s stack of 10 pancakes that he managed to inhale in an alarmingly brief period of time—was _nice_. Roy found it startling how easy it was to just exist in Edward’s company. 

Ed pulled no punches, and while others may have found his brashness off putting, Roy found it relaxing. 

There were no ulterior motives or secret messages with Ed, that Roy would have to silently decode in his head, while he continued to keep his own guard up. In the world of law and politics, you couldn’t afford to have a chink in your armor, because the first person who noticed your weakness would lance an arrow through your chest without hesitation.

Edward Elric did not operate behind the guise of fake smiles and backhanded compliments. If he had something to say, he just said it in plain and simple English, so that there was no way to misconstrue his message. It was a breath of fresh air for Roy ,to just talk to Ed and allow his focus to waiver, as his eyes caught the way the muscles in Edward’s jaw clenched when he spoke about how he caught one of his students cheating, or how his eyes sparkled and his voice rose when his experiment was producing promising results. 

Those were the moments Roy loved the most. When Edward’s excitement could light up the cityscape, and the words were tumbling out of his mouth so quickly Roy was tripping to keep up. 

Ed could never sit still in these passion fueled conversations. He was always shifting in his chair as he spoke, hands waving through the air as he tried to demonstrate refolding proteins to Roy. His devotion—this zeal for the continuation of science—was tangible, and even though Roy didn’t comprehend a single concept, he found his own heart rate speeding up as Edward described his progress. 

Ed always apologized after one of his monologues, and Roy always ensured him that he didn’t mind, but it was tortuous to swallow back down the rest of what he wanted to say.

Roy _wanted_ to tell Edward that he was captivated by his passion and intelligence; that he could sit and listen to Ed ramble on about science for hours. 

Roy wanted to call and tell whoever was in charge of defining the beauties of the world that they had missed a natural wonder, because the way Edward’s eyes sparkled with passion rivaled any mountain or canyon Roy had ever seen. 

Lunch with Ed injected a new vitality into Roy’s day—carrying him through the rest of the egregious mountain of paperwork and hours of phone calls that filled his schedule. By the time he had read through the last case file, the sun had long set, but still the city did not sleep. 

Roy took a moment to look out the large window of his office and down at the twinkling lights that illuminated the streets. His gaze wandered in the vague direction of his home. 

Was one of the faint flickers his apartment? 

Was Edward already in bed? Or was he curled up on the couch, laptop in hand, clicking through his data while the cats pestered him to no end?

With all of the dastardly paperwork vanquished, Roy supposed that there was nothing left that was stopping him from discovering the answer to his questions, so he packed up his things, and made his way down to the parking lot to drive himself home.

A pale light slipped through the crack under his door, meaning that someone was in his apartment. Roy slipped his key into the lock, the soft click of the tumblers moving a welcome sound. He sealed himself inside the safety of his home, finally escaping the never-ending responsibilities of his job. 

Surprisingly, eight little paws did not come scampering to the door upon his arrival. Roy quickly toed off his shoes so he could investigate. The apartment was silent as he moved his way deeper into the space. 

Finally, when he reached the living room, a mottled head peaked up over the back of the couch and let out a soft trill welcoming Roy home. He moved closer, fully intent on receiving some desperately needed cuddles, but the scene on the couch caused him to stop short, breath catching in his throat. 

Edward was sprawled out across the leather, a blanket slung haphazardly across his legs, his head pillowed on a balled up sweatshirt. Howl was curled around his head, happily lazing on silky golden locks. Calcifer had taken refuge on the center of Ed’s chest, and one of his hands was limply tangled in the soft burnt orange colored fur. 

Michelangelo himself could not paint a more beautiful image than the one laid before Roy’s eyes. The Sistine Chapel couldn’t hold a candle to the ethereal angel that had grown so weary, he decided to bless Roy’s couch, and allow it to cradle him to sleep. 

Now, Roy would wake every morning in dismay, because this was not the first thing to greet his eyes when they opened. 

He wished he was a poet, or an artist—someone with the talent to take this moment and turn it into something immortal—so that when he was forced to face the ugliest parts of society, he could pause and remember that beautiful things did exist. 

Instead of reaching down to trace over every softened curve and dip of Edward’s body, Roy stared for a few more moments, desperately trying to sear the image into his brain, and then he peeled himself away. 

His stomach chose that moment to theatrically remind him that he had skipped dinner. The kitchen seemed like a much safer place for his wandering hands, so he forced himself to shuffle across the hardwoods into the next room. 

When he opened the fridge, he found a take out container with his name messily scrawled on the top, sitting in front of him. 

Maybe Edward was an actual angel. No one had ever seen one before, so they didn’t necessarily know if the delicate features and demure personas were an accurate representation. Who said that an angel couldn’t be a hot-headed blonde with wit like a firecracker, and smile brighter than the sun? 

Maybe angels were personalized, and whatever deity was floating around in the heavens knew Roy had a tendency to shatter anything fragile, and thus, they sent him a guardian that was as much bark as he was bite.

Roy stood at the counter, and poked at the stir fry on his plate. His whole body craving a completely different type of meal. He wanted something with sharp teeth, blunt nails, and golden tresses; something dangingly so tantalizing in front of him, but just out of reach. 

Edward was forbidden. 

Roy should get that tattooed on his forearm, so that anytime he felt the insatiable gnawing of want clawing at his skin, he could look down and remind himself why his hands remained firmly at his side, when all they wanted to do was map out every centimeter of mouth wate-

Maybe he should get a brand instead, so he could remember the hot searing pain, and it would cancel out the liquid heat that pooled in his gut. 

Roy was starting to believe that he was cursed. Time and time again the universe had gifted him with something wonderful, allowed him to absorb it into his everyday life, and then waited until it had fused into his soul before it yanked it away from him, tearing away chunks of who he was along with it.

He didn’t allow himself to fantasize about an _after_. After the trial, after he put the Sins behind bars for good, after they had finally trekked up this godforsaken mountain path lined with bodies and blood. 

Once the trial was over, he would shake Edward’s hand, thank him for helping them make the city a safer place, and then they would part ways. Until then, Roy would help keep him safe. because that was what he—and Maes—had vowed to do years ago; protect innocent people from the evils of the world. 

He would not allow himself to set his sights on something extra. Edward was already giving him enough just by agreeing to be a witness, and Roy refused to ask for a single iota more. 

This was enough. 

He was content.

As Roy finished his food and placed his empty dishes in the sink, he had almost convinced himself that that statement was true. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! <3


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short hiatus, I just needed a little tiny break. I hope you enjoy the chapter!

You would think that after one sip of the sewage water that was trying to pass as coffee, someone would bother to learn how to properly brew it. Roy brought the small paper cup up to his lips, and was greeted with the same acrid flavor that fueled many a sleepless night when he was a rookie on the force.

It was like an old friend, an old toxic friend that in the end did more damage than good, but the few pleasant memories you had together overshadowed any grievances you may have had. Maybe, it was an unspoken rule that all coffee served at a police station must be horrendously burnt, and the closer to tar the coffee was the higher the caliber of the officers present. 

Roy must have been surrounded by the most elite force New York City had to offer. 

“This is pointless. A whole lotta fuckin’ good these police reports do if we don’t even know who is in charge of the damn gang.” Havoc leaned back precariously in his chair, tossing a file onto the already overflowing table in front of him. 

Hawkeye’s office had become their base during the investigation. The small circle table in the corner was buried somewhere underneath the mountains of paperwork they had dredged up from records. Several whiteboards were crammed into the space. It looked like a mad scientist had been let loose in the room; messy scrawl, crowded timelines, names of suspects and victims covered every square inch of the boards. 

One wall was dedicated to pictures of people they knew were in the gang, but the majority of the spaces for the seven deadly sins were question marks. Trying to find clues about their identities was like trying to walk across the Brooklyn Bridge blindfolded and come out on the other side unscathed. 

It was a feat only a clairvoyant could undertake. 

“Wait, I believe I found something.” Roy had to admit that many a time during their childhood he swore Riza could read his mind, often chastising him for thoughts and ideas that he had never uttered out loud. 

“Look at the severity of their crimes over time. At first, they mainly operated in drugs and prostitutes, but four years ago they started to move more into weapons smuggling. This is also around the time we began to see more corruption in the political circles.”

“So do you think that is when the current Wrath took his position in the gang? Sounds like he might be someone in a position of power if he’s able to pull strings to keep them out of trouble.” Feury stood as he spoke and made some notes to their timeline. 

“Wait four years ago? That's when Bradley became Commissioner,” Havoc muttered.

Everyone in the room paused. The statement hung in the air, floating in front of them like Pandora’s box. All the answers to their questions might lay inside its dark depths, but what evils would slip past them when they opened the lid? 

Roy looked down at his watch. It was late. 

“No one breaths a word of this outside of this office. We know nothing. This could be a coincidence. Keep digging for information. There are still three other Sins we don’t have identities for.” Roy felt itchy, and the room had grown several degrees warmer in the span of a few seconds. 

He wanted to go home. To get to a space where there weren’t eyes in the walls and ears around every corner. Somewhere he could sit and just barely crack open the lid of this box, keeping any and all shadows released contained in his home. 

Bradley had been an officer long before he became Police Commissioner. He was at Maes’ funeral, standing in a long line of blue suits and white gloves that saluted as Roy and Riza carried their best friend to his final resting place. A murderer wouldn’t show up to their victim’s funeral and stand there with a somber expression as a pregnant woman wailed when the love of her life was lowered into the ground. 

No human could do that. 

But could a monster?

\---

Roy could hear voices through the door when he finally dragged his haggard meat sack up to his apartment. 

There was something unequivocally pleasant about coming home after a long day to a room full of sunny laughter and brilliant smiles. The smell of carbs covered in pasta sauce and, hopefully, smothered in cheese filled the air. 

Roy almost wanted to cry. 

Ed was sitting at the kitchen island, perched on one of the barstools, with his laptop in front of him. He turned and greeted Roy with a smile. All of the stress and fatigue from the day melted off of Roy’s weary shoulders. 

He was _home_. 

“About fuckin’ time you got back. Jesus, I thought I was gonna have to send out a search party. There is leftover lasagna and garlic bread in the oven, but come over here for a sec. I want you to meet Winry and Al.” Edward reached down and unplugged his headphone from the computer just as Roy stepped into frame. 

“—the hot lawyer.” The woman on the screen finished her sentence just as the headphones disconnected. Ed’s hands remained frozen in front of him, hovering in the air around the computer. 

Roy paused, standing directly behind Ed’s right shoulder. His mind was racing through the thousands of different ways that sentence could have begun.

The man on the screen was staring at them with wide eyes, mouth parted into a small o. The woman seemed completely unphased—maybe even a bit smug.

“Hiya! I’m Winry and this is Al. Thank you for taking care of our idiot. You’d think someone getting their PhD would have some common sense, but what he lacks in height he more than makes up for stupidity.” This seemed to snap Edward out of his haze. 

“Hey, which one of us thought that it would be a smart idea to try and hook a car engine up to a moped?”

“It worked, didn’t it!”

“Winry we almost _died._ ” It seemed as if there was no end in sight to this argument, and Roy very desperately wanted to stuff his face full of carbs and lactose until he was comatose. Thankfully, Al cleared his throat, and the bickering instantly ceased. 

Roy was mildly impressed. 

“Hello, Mr. Mustang, it is a pleasure to meet you. Brother has told us that you are taking very good care of him during this ordeal, which we greatly appreciate. Now it looks like you have had quite the day, so please go enjoy your dinner and ignore these two fools. If left to their own devices, they will quibble like this all night long.” 

Edward at least had the decency to look sheepish, while Winry just rolled her eyes and crossed her arms in defiance. Al gave her a soft peck on the cheek and a pat on the head. 

“I love you but you know it’s true.” A loud huff was all he got in reply. 

Roy felt a gentle hand push at his side. Edward had turned around in the stool to face him, and was shoving him towards the direction of the stove. 

“Go eat some dinner. You’ve been workin’ like a dog here recently. You should really take a break.” 

“HELLO POT, I AM KETTLE, YOU ARE BLACK!” Winry shouted through the screen. Ed just raised a hand to flip her off, but stayed facing Roy.

“I know you, uh, can’t tell me much about it, but have you had any luck in the investigation?” 

Roy had found it quite surprising that Edward rarely asked for details about the case. He knew how personal this was to Roy, and could see the countless hours he was pouring into the investigation, and thus, kept his prying to a minimum, but Roy still knew he was curious. 

Ed’s whole world had been flipped upside down in one night, and now instead of being a nameless face in a constantly moving crowd, he was a target for the largest crime syndicate in the city. 

Roy wanted to give him something hopeful to cling to, a light at the end of this bottomless swirling black void that sucked out your soul the deeper you fell in. Once you had seen the darkest parts of humanity, it was difficult to remember that you could only see shadows because there was light. 

Roy didn’t want Ed to stop being a brilliant star in the barren night sky. He wanted to illuminate the world again, and make Edward believe that there wasn’t darkness lurking around every corner.

“We have a few minor leads on the identities of the upper echelons of the organization, but nothing concrete. I assure you Edward, we will find them and bring an end to the organization, but until then you are safe here.” Roy knew it was just a superfluous way to say that they had nothing, but he was a selfish man, and didn’t want Ed to lose faith in him.

Edward gave him a soft wistful smile. 

“I know you’re workin’ hard. I just thought I’d ask but it's no biggie. You’ll catch your big break soon. I can feel it in my bones.”

“You sound like Granny when it’s gonna rain. She always sayin’ she can tell when there is going to be a storm because her knees ache.” 

Roy listened to them talk while he ate his dinner. It was pleasant. Their voices softly faded into background noise, while Roy stared down at his plate, turning the discovery they made earlier over and over again in his mind. 

If there was even a fraction—the tiniest hint of a chance—that Bradley was tied to the Sins then…

It was like staring into the mouth of a dragon with only a wooden shield as defense. Roy would be taking on the very institution whose name he was fighting under. If he tried to take this to court with anything less than a smoking gun with Bradley’s finger prints on the trigger, then he was doomed. 

He could kiss his career goodbye, and most likely his life, the lives of his team, and Ed’s life. 

No.

Not again. 

For them, he would reach up and rip down the sky, drain the ocean, level mountains; not even god himself could stop him, if it meant keeping those he cared about safe. 

If he had to dismantle the entire justice system brick by brick, then so be it. He would plunge his hands into the festering mass and rip out the rotten tendrils, leaving open, gaping wounds. 

When he, Maes, and Riza had first joined the police force, they were naive enough to believe that people donned their badges because they wanted to make the world a better place; because they took pride in their city and its inhabitants. Very early on, they found that most became police officers because they had god complex and a dubious set of morals. 

The system was built on a rickety foundation put in place to help the few with power and hurt the many who dared to be _lesser_. The organization that people were supposed to rely on in times of need was more often than not the one holding the gun to their foreheads. 

There were a small number of diamonds in the rough. Riza and her team were some of the few that continued to carry out the mission of protecting innocent people. Roy liked to believe he was doing the same, but it was difficult to believe when every step forward was followed by two steps back. 

The sound of Edward wishing his family goodnight brought Roy’s attention back to the room around him. He moved to place his dishes in the sink, and then stepped over to the cabinet above the fridge, pulling out a heavy glass bottle full of a deep amber liquid. 

He turned to look at Ed, giving the bottle a slight shake and raising an eyebrow. Ed shook his head. 

Roy poured himself a hearty serving. The slight burn that crawled down his throat was heavenly. Some days, this feeling was the only thing that reminded him that he was alive. 

Finally, after a grueling week of wading through the worst that humanity had to offer and coming up empty handed, Roy sunk down into his couch, pulled the nearest cat into his lap, and allowed himself a few moments to just breathe. 

“Hey, you okay? I wasn’t kiddin’ earlier when I said you have been workin’ nonstop this week. I feel like I’m in your apartment more than you are now.” Ed sat down on the other end of the couch, legs stretching out across the cushions. Roy bit back a comment about how his feet could barely reach him. 

Howl happily hopped up onto Ed’s lap and made himself at home. Roy was thankful Ed was around to keep them company. They—Howl especially—got exceptionally cantankerous when Roy spent too many late nights in the office. 

“I’m doing as well as I can, I suppose. This job is all together rewarding, but it has its moments. It's just…” Roy swirled his glass, staring into the amber liquid like it might give him the answers he has spent the past weeks— _years_ —of his life hunting for. 

“They are not indestructible. I just have to take a fine tooth comb through the documents and find the missteps, but it is... frustrating some days.” 

Edward gave him a winsome smile that was so gentle it made Roy’s heart dissolve into a disgusting mess of too many emotions that began with the letter L. The bottom of Ed’s feet felt warm against his thigh. Suddenly, he was hit with the domesticity of their position.

Roy took another deep gulp of his drink. He couldn’t find the answers to his problems by looking at the drink, but maybe they would come to him after ingesting it. He was sure the word osmosis fit somewhere in his rationale for that thought. 

“I know you wanna get these guys, believe me I want you to lock them up just as bad, but you’re not doin’ yourself any good by burnin’ the candle at both ends.” Roy stared at him incredulously. 

“I’m afraid that I have to agree with Winry’s statement from earlier. You, dear Edward, are quite the hypocrite.” Ed rolled his eyes. Roy brought his glass up to his lips, hoping to conceal the slight upturn of his lips behind the rim. 

“But you’re out there actually helpin’ people. I’m just sittin’ on my ass in the lab.”

“Edward, your research is on creating lab produced organs out of stem cells. You will be saving thousands, no, millions of lives.” Ed gave him another masterful eye roll. Sometimes, Roy wondered if Edward was just exceptionally humble, or if he really valued himself so little that he couldn’t believe he was doing anything positive for the world. 

The more time they spent together, Roy began to suspect it was the latter, which brought up a whole new series of questions, and the intense urge to hunt down whatever bastard had caused those thoughts to creep into Edward’s mind and force them to take back every negative word they ever said. 

“Fine, work yourself to death, see if care! I’m keepin’ the cats after you wither away in your office. Fluorescent lights don’t give you vitamin D ya know, so crack a window every once and awhile so your bones don’t get brittle.” 

“I could just drink milk. Doesn’t that provide you with your daily suggested intake of vitamin D?” Edward scooped Howl up unto his arms and cradled him to his chest. 

“Maybe we should just let your Dad die, huh? Seems like his mind is already gone.” Roy threw his head back and let out a laugh, and _god_ did it feel good. After a miserable week of chasing dead ends, and smoke that didn’t lead to fire, Roy needed this. Ed brought light on these dark nights, slinging stars into the never ending black skies that blanketed Roy’s world. 

Roy knew he shouldn’t allow himself to get used to it. This was temporary; one day he would close this case, and he and Ed would part ways. Edward was not a permanent solution to the dreariness that permeated his skin, and drenched him so thoroughly he felt the chill in his bones. But tonight, he would allow himself to indulge in the illusion that the universe consisted of only the two of them; that there was nothing beyond the confines of the living room. 

He could hear Maes whispering that he was allowing himself to be a dreamer. 

Roy knew a more apt word was delusional. 

“Do you have anything planned for tomorrow afternoon?” 

“Uh, no. I was plannin’ on stoppin’ in the lab for a little bit. Why?” Roy wanted to point out the hypocrisy of going into work on a Saturday after reprimanding him for working so hard this past week, but he refrained. 

“I’m having lunch with Gracia and Elicia, and I was wondering if you’d like to join us.” Edward’s eyes widened just a fraction, and the hand running through Howl’s fur paused. 

“I don’t wanna intrude on y’alls lunch.” Roy waved a hand dismissively. 

“Nonsense. They’ll both adore you, so please come, I insist.” A light rosy blush crawled its way across Edward’s cheeks, and Roy had to admit that red was his color. 

In a moment of weakness, Roy allowed himself to imagine what that blush would look like if it slipped down Edward’s neck and blossomed across his chest, spreading out across golden tanned skin like a blanket. 

“I mean sure, if you’re gonna beg like that I guess I’ll come. Wait, are we going to one of those super healthy vegan places? Cause I’m not gonna eat leaves for lunch.” Edward wrinkled his nose at the thought of ingesting something that didn’t contain three times his daily recommended sodium intake. 

Roy laughed again. Warmth flowed through him, flooding the barren rocky shores of his heart that had been parched for a decade. 

This was _easy_ , oh so easy. 

It reminded him of his first day of the police academy, where he had met a man with a lopsided smile and an uncanny ability to make everyone around him feel at ease. Just like now, Roy had allowed himself to bask in the warmth, it was so gentle that it settled around him like a second skin.

No, it hadn’t taken him long to fall back then, and as Roy gazed over at Edward, he could feel it. It was like plucking a star from the sky and keeping it in his own personal jar, so that he could use it to illuminate the uncertain and foggy haze that was the future. 

Roy had dropped the jar last time. The light was lost,and he was quickly consumed by the shadows. He couldn’t do that again. The sky already had so few stars, and Roy wouldn’t dare to allow his selfish nature to smother another brilliant light, especially one this important. 

So, he swallowed this feeling. He ran through the list of reasons why he didn’t deserve it, until the fire was extinguished, and the familiar numbness settled in its rightful place. 

“I believe there are chicken nuggets on the children’s menu, so you should be fine.” 

“I am not small, Mustang!” Roy gazed down at his now empty glass. He forced a small smile at Edward’s snappy response, but his mind had drifted elsewhere. 

Over the years, he had grown proficient in playing the role of whatever person the situation called for. Some days, it was difficult for him to pull apart which pieces truly belonged to Roy Mustang, and which ones were an act. 

He didn’t deserve this; this moment, this feeling, but he allowed himself to pretend. To play the part of a Roy Mustang that existed in some parallel universe where he didn’t shatter or smother every beautiful thing in his life, and he was a person who might be a star in someone else’s darkened sky. 

It was selfish, but Roy gazed over at golden hair and honey filled eyes, and maybe it was the alcohol talking, but he thought _who gives a damn_. The world was a selfish place and Roy would never allow himself to act on these fantasies so was he really doing any harm? 

He just needed _something_ , a few crumbs to sustain him through this war of attrition. He could cling to these hidden moments and when he closed his eyes at night he could pretend there was more to life than empty whiskey bottles and the demons in his head. 

It wasn’t much but it was enough, it _had_ to be enough because there would be nothing more. And even if it wasn’t Roy could slip on a familiar mask and pretend like it was. Maybe if he tried hard enough he could even trick himself. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this is kind of OOC for Miles, honestly Ling would have been a better fit but he's already playing an important role, so instead y'all get tattooed punk heartbreaker Miles. 
> 
> EDIT: Feb 4th 2021
> 
> Helllooooooo. I know this fic has been sitting collecting dust for a hot minute, but IM BACK! Sorry for the hiatus.
> 
> I also rewrote the ending because I hated it. This is a slow burn, they can't kiss till AT LEAST 70k. So prepare for more emotional constipation and avoiding feelings <3 because Roy is a clown. I love him tho.

Edward was nervous. Out of the corner of his eye, Roy could see him fidgeting in his seat, hands fiddling with the seat belt and feet moving restlessly on the floorboards. 

“If you are truly uncomfortable, I’m not going to force you to come. I don’t want you to have anxiety because of this.” Ed’s head snapped up at the sound of Roy’s voice. The nervous jitters stopped.

“No, no, it's nothin’ like that. I guess, I just want them to like me, that's all.” Roy felt his heart clench in his chest. Edward was like the sun; brilliant and so warm that people couldn’t help but fall into his orbit. Roy had been blinded from the moment he laid eyes on him, and every day he found himself debating if being burned by the heat would be worth the lasting scar. 

It had been two months since Ed had run out of his home and taken shelter with Roy. During that time the stifling heat of summer had been swept away by a cool autumn breeze. 

The heavens above must have created the season specifically for Edward. The brilliant colors of the changing leaves were the perfect backdrop to accentuate his golden features. He began wearing more ripped jeans and combat boots, paired with oversized sweaters and flannels. Roy had no doubt that he would find Ed gorgeous in a potato sack, but now he found himself left speechless by his breathtaking beauty more often than not.

And the biggest tragedy of them all was that Edward himself didn't see it. 

Edward viewed the world through a tight scope, one where he was only focused on the goodness of others, and was unable to see his own effect on those around him. He could go on for hours and hours about Alphonse or Winry and their brilliance, or Izumi and her genius, but when the tables were turned, and someone was to comment on his abilities, he was always quick to brush them away. 

Roy wanted to know who had the audacity to cup Edward’s gentle soul in their hands and strangle it until it bowed under the pressure. In a different universe, he would devote the rest of his life to filling Edward’s cup until it overflowed, never allowing him a moment of silence to give the voices in his head an opportunity to speak. 

But alas, they were in this universe, and no matter how much it pained him, Roy had a job, and his focus could not be diverted from his goal.

When they pulled up to the restaurant Roy heard Edward swear under his breath.

“Is everything alright?” Edward raked a hand through his hair. What Roy wouldn’t give to run his own hand through those golden tresses. 

“Yeah, yeah, it's just my ex works here, but it's no biggie.” By the slight strain in Edward’s voice Roy could tell that it was, in fact, a biggie. 

“Edward we can go somewhere else. This is New York City, there are thousands of restaurants. None of us have any particular emotional attachment to this one. Elicia just enjoys their bendy straws.” Edward waved a dismissive hand, and began to climb out of the car. 

“Nah, it's fine. We’re already here.” Roy watched him walk to the front of the restaurant with a sigh. He looked up at the ceiling of his car, but symbolically he was glancing up at the heavens.

Roy didn’t believe in God or any of that nonsense; one did not trek through the dredges of society, witnessing horrors that should have never left the pits of hell from which they crept from, and still believe that there was some benevolent being above who cared for them all. 

Life was a game of odds and chances. No one could count the cards, because there weren’t any to begin with; there weren’t even pieces or a board. You just fumbled around in the dark and hoped that with your next step the floor didn’t fall out from underneath you. 

But, throughout his career, Roy had learned that desperate times called for desperate measures, and even the last runner in the race could win if all those before him fell. He just wanted this to go well, for Edward to clear his mind for one simple afternoon and not have to worry about the neon target attached to his back.

“Are you comin’?” Edward yelled from where he was standing by the door.

Roy sent up one last plea to whatever altruistic deity lazed in the sky, and then made his way out of the car to the front of the restaurant where Edward was waiting. 

Gracia and Elicia were already seated when the hostess led them to the small table on the back patio. 

Roy and Gracia embraced, her smile as warm as ever.

“It;s lovely to see you. You look stunning as always.” Garcia rolled her eyes, and bat Roy lightly on his shoulder. 

“Roy, you flatter me. It is good to see you too.” Roy then turned to the young girl sitting at the table. The second their eyes met, her face split with a bright smile, and she threw herself out of her chair and into his arms. 

Roy couldn’t help but laugh at her enthusiasm. He hoped that she never grew tired of seeing him; too cool to spend time with her lame, old uncle anymore. 

He squeezed her tight and pressed a soft kiss to the crown of her head. 

“Hello gorgeous. I’ve missed you.” Elicia burrowed deeper into his embrace.

“I missed you too.” Her voice was muffled by his chest, but it still washed over him like a warm summer breeze. It was a privilege to be loved, and an honor to be held so dearly by someone as bright and kindhearted as Elicia Hughes. 

Maes would have never shut up about her if he had not been robbed of his opportunity to be a father. Roy knew he would have rambled endlessly about her, singing her praise to anyone who happened to walk by. He was a poor substitute for someone of such a high caliber as Maes, but he hoped that he was able to provide Elicia with a small fraction of the adoration her father would have showered her with. 

It was what she deserved. 

“Okay, Elicia that's enough. Let Roy sit down.” Elicial let out a small whine, but nonetheless, peeled herself out of Roy’s arms and plopped back down into the seat next to her mother. Roy stood and cast a glance back at Edward, who had remained silent during the interaction. 

There was a soft look on his face, something that Roy couldn’t place. His eyes were focused on where Elicia had just been, but his gaze seemed like it was elsewhere, looking back at what once was, or perhaps what should have been. 

“Gracia, Elicia, this is my friend Edward. Edward, meet Gracia and Elicia, two of the most important women in my life.” The utterance of his name snapped Ed out of his trance. A smile was quick to fall on his lips, and he leaned forward to greet Gracia with a handshake, but was immediately pulled into a hug.

His eyes widened for a moment before they relaxed. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders with such tenderness you would have thought she was made of glass. 

“It’s wonderful to meet you Edward.” 

“You’re not messing up my room are you?” Elicia looked at him from her chair, arms folded haughtily across her chest, eyes squinting suspiciously at him. 

“I promise that I haven’t touched a thing. Scouts honor.” Ed completed the vow by raising three fingers and placing a hand over his heart. 

Elicia eyed him for a few more moments, deciding if she deemed him worthy of her sacred space. Eventually, she relaxed back into her chair.

“Okay, but you better not change anything.” While it wasn’t complete acceptance, Edward had passed the evaluation of his harshest critic. He glanced over at Roy nervously, unsure of the next phase in this interaction. 

Ever the gentlemen, Roy pulled out a chair, and guided Edward to sit down with a hand on the small of his back. 

“Sit and look at the menu. As per your request, I checked and they do serve something aptly referred to A Heart Attack on a Bun here, so, no worries, you will not be forced to consume anything resembling a vegetable today.” Roy settled in the chair between Edward and Elicia. 

“That's fuc-” Edward coughed and looked up at Elicia, and then back down at the menu, a soft blush crawling across his cheeks. “That's great. Thanks.”

Roy didn’t bother to hide his small smile. There were very few people who had earned the privilege of seeing _Roy_. Most of the world knew Roy Mustang, charming, sharp, relentless, a shark in the water who was constantly on the hunt for blood, but very few people got to meet Roy. Here he was safe, no one sitting with him currently cared if he let his armour down and just allowed himself to be. He was content, more relaxed than he had felt in months. 

These moments were few and far between, but when he was given the opportunity to experience them, he held them close. They were his life preservers in the stormy seas that controlled his life, and he clung to them when it was all he could do to just keep breathing. He meticulously filed each one away, forcing himself to catalog every detail to prove to himself that it happened, it was real, that he _could_ be happy. 

“Good afternoon, I am Miles and I will be your server today. How can I hel-” Roy looked up at the man who had just greeted them. He was younger, mid twenties if Roy had to guess. His hair was bleached almost white, tattoos littered his arms and hands, and his ears and lips were full of glinting silver metal. His eyes—were those red contacts?—were trained on none other than Edward Elric, who had gone rigid in his seat. 

Shit. 

“Ed?” 

“Hehe, yup. I see ya still work here.” Edward’s voice was strained, and the awkwardness in their air was almost palpable. 

“I do. How are you?” Roy shot Miles an exasperated expression.

Anyone with a single shred of social competency would be able to read the atmosphere, and realize that Edward very much did not want to have this conversation. But, this detail failed to resonate with Miles, who was intensely focused on Edward, and oblivious to the rest of the table. 

“Good” Edward’s voice caught in his throat and he coughed to clear it. “Great. How are you? Still with... that guy?” 

Miles nodded his head and raised his left hand where a thick black band was tattooed on his ring finger.

Fucking hell.

“Yeah. We’re married now.”

“No shit.” Edward’s voice had gone up an octave. “Well congrats, really. I’m happy for y’all.”

Roy cleared his throat which drew Miles’ attention back to his job, or maybe Roy should say, his glaring inability to perform said job. 

“Yes, hello, would it be too cumbersome to get some water for the table? And can we also get the hummus plate as an appetizer?” For a few quick moments, he allowed himself to slip back into the persona of Roy Mustang ADA. His voice commanded attention, his tone demanded results, and the look in his eyes indicated that there was no room for questioning. 

Edward was clearly uncomfortable, and Roy would not stand for this conversation to continue a second longer. He had dragged Ed out here in the first place, the least he could do was put an end to the madness and pull him up before he drowned. 

Miles took in a sharp, panicked inhale. 

“Yes, I will get right on that.” He scribbled down the order onto the pad in his hand, and then turned sharply on his heel, walking back inside the restaurant. 

Ed let out a shaky sigh. 

“Edward, if you would like to leave that is perfectly reasonable. There is a wonderful bistro right on the corner. Or I can request we sit somewhere else outside of his section.” Roy’s mind was moving a mile a minute, as he tried to piece together every solution that would put out the dumpster fire that was this lunch. 

He should have never brought him in here in the first place. Edward had clearly been uncomfortable with the idea of eating here when they arrived, Roy shouldn’t have been so complacent.

“Nah, it's fine, just a little jarring that's all.” Roy knew Edward was being dismissive because he didn’t want to inconvenience them, but Roy was much more distressed at the idea of staying and Edward being miserable the entire time than he was perturbed by switching tables. 

A woman stopped by the table and placed a water in front of all of them, momentarily interrupting the conversation. Before Roy had the opportunity to press the issue any further, Elicia spoke. 

“Was that your old boyfriend?” Roy opened his mouth to remind Elicia that being nosey was rude, but Edward answered the question, unbothered by the little girl’s prying. 

“Yeah, it was.” It was a simple answer, but Elicia still took a minute to ponder it. 

Roy could see the wheels turning in her head. He feared whatever scheme she was concocting behind those bright emerald eyes. She looked exactly like Maes when she got like this, and that both amazed and frightened Roy. He had many memories of Maes getting him mixed up in some crazy shenanigans because of one of his _ideas_. 

“Uncle Roy likes boys too. I think you two would be cute boyfriends together.” Gracia choked on her water. Roy stared at his niece, terrified how within moments of meeting Edward, she had somehow managed to step on the landmine Roy had been trying to avoid, blowing the very shaky foundation he had been standing on to smithereens. 

And Edward. Edward laughed. 

“Hmm, you think so? I donno he’s a bit of a jerk dont’cha think? Plus, he’s in his 30’s. He’s practically a dinosaur.” Roy turned to look at Ed with an expression of horror. True, he was 35, but he took great pride in the fact that he did not look a day over 25, and had had countless men and women alike tell him such. 

A broad grin that was all teeth and mischief spread across Edward’s face. He looked like a cat that had caught the canary, and when his claws found flesh they dug _deep_. 

“I can already see wrinkles.” 

“I found a grey hair on his head the last time he played dress up.” Roy felt himself spiraling. 

Edward cocked a perfectly arched eyebrow, soundlessly rolling the words ‘dress up’ off his tongue. The look he wore spelled nothing but disaster for Roy.

This had to end. 

“Okay, I think we have thoroughly exhausted this conversation. I don’t believe my fragile ego can take any more of a beating, from my own family nonetheless. Elicia how is school going? Has your math grade improved?” 

The conversation slipped easily from Roy’s _ **nonexistent**_ grey hairs and wrinkles, to the woes of 5th grade math and atrocities that were fractions. 

“Oh come, on fractions aren’t that hard! You just need to find the common denominator. Then it's just addition.” 

“It’s too hard! If you’re so good at math then why don’t you teach me instead? My teacher’s bad, and I don’t understand anything she says.” 

“Elicia, sweetie, I’m sure Ed is a very busy man. He doesn’t have time to help you with your homework. And don’t say rude things about your teacher.” Edward just shrugged. 

“I mean, I don’t mind helpin’ her out.” Roy felt like the Grinch, as his shrivelled pitiful excuse of a heart swelled in his chest, pushing threateningly against his rib cage. How Edward had ever thought anyone could dislike him was beyond Roy.

The world needed more Edwards. More people who were kind solely because that was all they knew how to be, it was the core of who they were, and malicious intent never even crossed their mind to begin with.

The same young woman who brought them their waters, Rosé—she had supplied her name on her second pass by the table—came to take their lunch orders. Roy tucked that small detail in the back of his mind for later.

Edward did end up ordering the monstrosity of a hamburger, requesting an extra side of jalapeno peppers, and something referred to as diablo sauce on the side. Roy felt his acid reflux flare up at just the idea of consuming the grotesque amalgamation of red meat, cheese, and grease that was placed on the table 25 minutes later. 

After a rather rough start, the rest of lunch passed by pleasantly. The bill was paid—Roy innocently claimed to need to use the restroom but passed his card to Rosé before the others even had the opportunity to think about paying—hugs were exchanged, and a study session between Edward and Elicia was arranged. 

They had just about succeeded in making their way back to Roy’s car without further incident, but a call of Edward’s name from across the parking lot promptly took Roy’s good mood and dropped it off the side of a cliff, never to be seen again. 

Miles jogged lightly across the asphalt and Edward looked at him, frozen in place. 

“Hey, do you think we could talk for a sec?” Ed opened his mouth to say something, but no words fell from his lips. The sunny, brilliant, carefree Edward that Roy oh so adored was gone, replaced with something that looked more akin to a startled deer cornered by a wolf. 

Roy’s body moved before his mind had the opportunity to tell him that this was a gloriously horrible plan that would inevitably end in unpleasantness and awkwardness. But, Roy apparently had a kink for masochism, because whenever his sword presented itself, it seemed like all he could do was fall on it. 

An arm snaked around Edward’s waist, pulling him into the curve of Roy’s side. With every scrap of willpower he had left, Roy refused to allow himself to focus on just how seamlessly Edward slotted against him. 

Mile’s eyes widened in surprise, but Edward didn’t bat an eye. If anything the rigidness bled out of his shoulders and he relaxed into the contact. 

Roy also did not allow him to try and divulge any deeper meaning behind this action. 

“I do apologize, but we have a very busy schedule this afternoon and must be going.” Roy did not offer an alternative to an in-person conversation because there wasn’t one. He was shutting this down, end of story. 

“Yeah, sorry, but um, we’ve got stuff to do ya know.” After being a lawyer for a decade. Roy had expertely honed his reactions, able to shelter away his surprise and keep a neutral expression at all times. It was because of this that he was able to tamp down his shock, which quickly gave way to a selfish joy—that would slowly rot into guilt and self depreciation later—and keep his visage casual as Edward wrapped his own arm securely around Roy’s waist. 

By the way his fists clenched at his sides, it was clear that Miles had not missed the action either. 

“Oh, yeah, sorry. Maybe we can connect another time? My phone is inside but if I coul-” Roy interrupted him. 

“I’m sorry, but we really must be going. Are you ready my love?” If Roy had the opportunity to record the small gasp that left Edward’s lips so that he could forever repeat it, he would have done so in a heartbeat. 

“Yeah, lets go.” Roy bid Miles farewell with a small curt nod and then led Edward back to the car, opening the passenger side door and helping him step in before sliding in behind the steering wheel. The second the doors clicked closed Roy turned to Ed.

“I would first like to profusely apologize for my behavior just then.” He hoped that if he was forthright about his mistake, then he would be able to stop the worst of the bleeding, and potentially salvage what little was left of the relationship between them. 

Roy understood that they would never be like that, he had come to accept it, no matter how dejected it made him feel because it was what was best for Edward. 

“What? Why? You stepped in... God that was a nightmare.” Edward let out a frustrated huff and raked his hands across his face. Roy paused, unsure of where he stood now. One wrong step and the ground could potentially explode at his feet, destroying anything that resembled a friendship between them.

“Miles and I got together almost immediately after I moved to New York. It was great... or at least I thought it was, but he, uh, he cheated on me. I walked in on them after a long day at the lab. I don’t even know the guy’s name, I just call him Scar cause he’s got this huge scar on his face, but um, anyways, Miles was _really_ torn up about it. He apologized a lot and made a lot of promises. He really wanted to get back together, but I just... couldn’t. And now, I guess he’s married to the guy he said meant nothing.” He let out a dry humourless laugh. 

“Life’s a bitch ain’t it?” As delicately as possible Roy reached out and placed a hand over one of the clenched fists in Edward’s lap. He didn’t pull away, instead he looked up at Roy with watery eyes, deep shimmering pools of liquid gold threatening to spill over onto his cheeks. 

“Edward, you stood up for yourself. You are not at fault for what happened in any way, shape, or form. It was his shortcomings that caused him to be dishonest and break your trust. I like to believe that I am fairly good at reading people, and Edward, he _knows_ what he let go. He knows the mistake he made when he let someone as magnificent as you slip through his fingers. That is no one’s fault but his own.” One by one tears slid down Ed’s cheeks, and with his free hand, he scrubbed them off his face. 

“Who would want to be with a fuck up like me? I don’t do anything but cause trouble. I ruined a perfectly good day with my stupid fucking drama, and now you’re sittin’ here comforting me like I’m some kinda baby.” 

Roy’s treacherous hands gripped Edward’s and brought it close to his chest. He scraped up every last shred of honesty and earnestness inside of him for his next words. 

“Edward, believe me you are far from a fuck up. You are, by far, one of the most striking and alluring people I have ever met, and getting the opportunity to know you has been a privilege.” 

Edward’s eyes flicked down to where their hands were connected and then back up to Roy’s. Sharp teeth nervously worried on his bottom lip. Roy couldn’t help but watch the movement, and when he gazed back up all he saw was endless black pupils rimmed by a thin halo of gold. 

“Really?” It was a whisper, a prayer, a wish. 

This conversation did not lead to a good place. It was sugar coated and candy sweet, but Roy knew that below the saccharine surface there was a smoldering heat that would only burn them both in the end. 

Roy was not easily loved. He was like fire. At first small, flickering, and warm, but the more you fed it the more it grew, until it was an untamable inferno. That was how things always ended. In the beginning, it was paradise, but each one of his lovers left with scars that would mar them for them for the rest of their days. He was a taker, insatiable, as he consumed everything and greedily asked for more. 

But what were humans if not selfish? 

“I am certain,” he said, breathless. They were both a little bent and broken, neither pristine nor pure, but perhaps, that would be their salvation instead of their ruin. Two pieces that weren’t perfectly straight but, somehow, the broken, jagged edges slotted together just right. 

The future was a foggy haze, and no one could predict what was around the bend; it was the certainty of that uncertainty Roy clung to. It was easy to brush off the missteps of the past because it is impossible to know what the future holds, and hindsight is always 20/20. 

But, perhaps, Roy had just been a coward, using the enigma they all call life as a crutch.

Ed hung his head, hiding his eyes behind a curtain of gold, but he couldn’t conceal the small drops that slide down his nose, creating small patches of burgundy on his red t-shirt. 

Maybe, Roy thought to himself, he was tired of being a coward. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I promise the next chapter won't suck like this.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!


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